They Won’t Do It; They Just Won’t

 This post is not about autism, but a reflection of the medical system that is so inflexible and dismissive of the people it is supposed to help.

Years ago, while doing a self-breast exam, I found a lump.  It was small, but nonetheless, it was there.   I was working for a chiropractor/nutritionist at the time.  He explained to me why, a mammogram may not be a good idea.  Basically, if you have a malignant lump in the breast tissue, the body surrounds it with placenta that makes a barrier to the rest of the body.  The pressure that is applied to your breast tissue during a mammogram can cause damage to this delicate barrier and therefore increase the chance that a malignant tumor will metastasize.   He recommended a theramagram and a sonogram instead.  “If need be, it should be operated on, but no needle biopsies, and no mammograms.  Leave it in, or take it out, but don’t mess with it!”  This made sense to me and I decided to go with it.

  I found a doctor that did thermagrams.  The results were good, but not unquestionably good.  There were a couple of areas he wasn’t sure about.   Because I had been wearing a seat belt, he thought the areas in question had a higher temperature from the seat belt’s friction.  The specific areas that I was concerned about looked good.   I wasn’t discouraged, but I wasn’t convinced that I had nothing to worry about.

 So I went to my OBGYN who referred me to a surgeon.  I called the surgeons office and said “I do not get mammograms, but I would like to see the surgeon.  If a mammogram is required, please let me know now so that I can save both of us the hassle.  Please do not let me take a half day off work and pay for an appointment, just to say you require me to get a mammogram.”  The office made the appointment for me.  Guess what happened?

Yep!  With complete disinterest in my thermogram results and complete dismissal of my concerns about pressure to the breast tissue, the surgeon came at me full force with mammogram advocacy. 

“Can I just get a sonogram first to see if it is necessary?”  I asked.

 “It doesn’t give us enough information,”  she answered.

I wasn’t going to convince this woman that I should have a choice in this matter.  So I stopped arguing with her.   I took the referral and went home. 

I called the “Women’s Breast Health Center”  which I had been referred to, and asked about a sonogram with no mammogram.   I’ll spare you the long version of what happened, but ultimately, the answer was “No.” 

I called many other health centers and their answer was “No.”

I couldn’t help but notice the irony.  If I were pregnant and wanting an abortion I would have my choice of women’s group strongly  stating “Don’t tell women what to do with their bodies!!!”  Yet here I was, simply wanting to get a sonogram without a mammogram and I couldn’t find a soul to help me get this basic service.  I decided that I would go with my thermagram results and hope for the best.

 Then, someone called me at work.

“Hi, it’s Nadine from Dr. Jones office. It looks like you haven’t gotten your mammogram yet.”

“I don’t get mammograms.”

“I thought that after talking to Dr. Jones, you agreed to get a mammogram.”

“No, actually, I didn’t.  I just stopped arguing with her.  It became very clear to me that she wasn’t going to see things my way and I wasn’t going to see them her way, so I just took the referral and said “Good-bye.”  I never agreed to get a mammogram. “

“Well you know you are risking your life by not following her advice.”

“I am more than willing to get a sonogram and no mammogram.  That should let me know if I am risking my life or not.” 

“They won’t do it.  They just won’t.”

“Well, then maybe ‘they’ are the ones that are risking my life.”

I never got the mammogram.  In the end, I was okay.

10 years since the above mammogram war; It had been 8 years since my last OBGYN visit   Yesterday I went to see her again.

First the medical assistant came in.  I did not have a lump in my breast this time, but I am 43.

“Well be giving you a referral for a mammogram.”

“I don’t get mammograms.”

Then the doctor came in.

“Well be giving you a referral for a mammogram.”

“I don’t get mammograms.”

At the end of the appointment the doctor said “Is there anything I can do to convince you to get a mammogram.

“Why can’t I just get a sonogram?”  I asked

"A mammogram gives us more information. “

“Well, seeing that I won’t get a mammogram wouldn’t it be a better idea to do a sonogram and get some information rather than getting no information at all.

"They won’t do it.  They just won’t.”

There’s that phrase again.  “They won’t do it.  They just won’t.” No one explained to me who they” are, and why ‘they’ are so hell-bent on me getting a mammogram.  Why they are so inflexible and why they are so threatened by a woman who wants to make decisions about her own body.

“They won’t do it.  They just won’t.”

Yet, we should trust them.  We should believe that they know what’s best for us and for our children.  We should just believe there are no corporate interest, special interests nor an unwillingness admit when they are wrong.  They only owe you explanations when they meet their purposes.  Otherwise they say “They won’t do it; they just won’t.” 

Forgive me if I don’t find that a satisfactory explanation.

Forgive me if this gives me negative impression of the medical system.

They won’t work with me; it is up to me to work with them.

Well, I won’t do it; I just won’t.